We all know the power of healthy habits for creating more stability, peace, and connection in our lives. But knowing and doing are two very different things. You might find that you’re flooded with motivation and optimism when you first set goals for yourself, only for this to peter out after a few weeks. An important piece of this puzzle is setting the right goals - ones that are realistic, flexible, and meaningful to you (see my previous blog post for more on this!). But even with the right goals in place, it can be hard to stay on track when life throws you curveballs. Our minds favour the familiar, so you’re likely to fall back into old comfortable behaviours that no longer serve you during times of stress, unless you have the right tools.
BEHOLD - 5 strategies to stay on track with new habits when the going gets tough:
1.Recruit your supports:
Creating lasting change on your own is possible, but challenging. It’s important to have supportive people in your corner who can help you stay motivated. Try telling loved ones about your new habit and asking if they can check in with you on your progress on a regular basis, or gently remind you of your goal when they see you slipping into old patterns..
You might also find it helpful to recruit someone to join you in your commitment, like a workout buddy or a walking buddy. Knowing that you’d be leaving your buddy hanging if you bail on that lunchtime walk can help keep you accountable.
It’s especially beneficial if the people you spend the most time with are on board with your new habit, since we’re heavily influenced by the people in our closest circle. Anyone who’s tried to change their eating habits, for example, will know it’s 10x harder if your spouse wants to share takeout every night. This doesn’t mean the people closest to you need to commit to all the same goals that you do, it just means that they’re doing what they can to encourage you through their words and actions.
An important consideration here: make sure the people you share your goals with are likely to be supportive. If you tell someone who is judgmental, overly critical, or threatened by the healthy changes you’re trying to make in your life, it’ll likely be discouraging. You may also want to ask very directly for the kind of support you’re looking for - for example, “if you notice me scrolling on my phone in bed, could you gently remind me of my goal to read instead?”. This goes for accountability partners too. You want someone who’s going to encourage you through positive reinforcement rather than shaming and criticism. Also keep in mind that your buddy’s goals may be different than yours - it’s important to keep on track with small changes that are realistic and meaningful to YOU, rather than comparing or molding your goals to others.
2. Change your environment:
We often think of sticking to new habits as a matter of willpower, but relying on willpower alone to keep us on track isn’t a great strategy. Willpower tends to decrease as we encounter stressors and difficult decisions throughout the day, and is heavily influenced by things like sleep and physical illness. It makes far more sense to focus on our environment, which we have a lot more control over. By changing our environment, we can make breaking bad habits and keeping up with good ones far more likely.
If you’re trying to stop an unhealthy habit, make sure you reduce temptations in your environment as much as possible. If you’re aiming to stop drinking, for example, try to remove all the alcohol from your home, take a different route home from work that doesn’t pass a liquor store or bar, and stock your fridge with alcohol-free drinks instead.
If you’re trying to start a new healthy habit, place visual reminders throughout your environment to make remembering your habit more likely. This might mean putting a sticky note on your mirror, setting out your workout clothes the night before, or putting your medication bottles on the counter.
Other examples of changing your environment:
Charge your phone in a different room at night
Keep your dog’s leash right beside the front door
Turn off email notifications for certain times of the day
Take your fruits and vegetables out of the fridge drawers and place them on a shelf at eye level
Shut the door to your home office when you log off for the day
3. Reconnect with your ‘why’:
In my previous blog post, I mentioned the importance of setting goals that align with your deepest values. That’s because it’s really tough to stay motivated with habits that are based on things you “should” do or what others want from you, and a lot easier to keep up with habits that are personally meaningful. I recommend writing down your ‘why’ on a sticky note, on the notes app in your phone, or anywhere that’s easy to access. This should include the values underlying the goal and how it will positively impact your life in the long-term. You might even consider writing a letter to your future self, reminding them why you set this goal in the first place. When motivation falters, review what you wrote for a helpful boost.
Example of a ‘why’ statement:
Goal: meditating for 5 minutes daily
Related Values: presence, focus, stability, peace
Long-term benefit: will help me be less reactive with my loved ones, will improve my concentration skills, and encourage me to be more present instead of caught up in past or future-focused thoughts.
4. Stack your habits:
One of the biggest barriers to sticking with new habits is remembering to do them in the first place. A great strategy to keep new habits front of mind is to stack them onto old ones that are already part of your established routine.
Start by identifying all of the daily actions that are automatic or engrained in your routine. This could be waking up, brushing your teeth, taking a shower, eating meals, leaving for/arriving home from work, going to sleep, etc. Then try to ‘stack’ a new habit onto one of these actions in a way that makes sense.
Examples:
Wake up + journal for 10 minutes
Eat a meal + drink a full glass of water
Brush your teeth + floss (a habit I am personally trying to improve at, but aren’t we all?)
Arrive home from work + stretch for 15 minutes
5. Reflect often
Sometimes the positive effects of small changes we make in our lives are so gradual and subtle, we don’t really notice them unless we take time to reflect. When we don’t do this, it’s common to slide back into old behaviours or give up on goals completely.
Aim to set aside time on a weekly basis to reflect on how your new habit has benefited your life so far, and how it’s made you feel. If you’ve struggled to stay on track, use this time to explore what obstacles got in the way and how you can address them. Remember to stay as curious and non-judgmental as possible during these reflections. Getting stuck in self-criticism and shame will likely make you less motivated to keep moving forward.
And there you have it. I'm rooting for you!
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